breaking up

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by droogie01, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. droogie01

    droogie01 Member

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    hey big shooters...ive been goin out with the chick for over a year now and for the past few weeks i jsut cant stand to be around/talk to her when she calls i make up excuses like"i hate to take a sh*t" or somthing jsut to get away. any ways ive tried to break up with her ...twice, first time i wanted to do it in person dand like the flmaing retard i am i went there and low and behold.....i was lurred in by the evil Vag*na with fangs. again tonight i broke up with her over the phone and after about 2 hours of listning to what a bad person i am and crying she asked me to come and spend one last night with her. *see flaming retard part above*
    my dad gave me only this for advce "the p*ssy is powerful"
    my coach told me "she may cry all night but then atleast it will be over"
    anyone got any brilliant ideas that lead to me acculy getting away and not being seduced again!?!?!?!?!
    thanx
     
  2. Lethal_B

    Lethal_B Moderator Staff Member

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    Tell her it's over. You have to be blunt about it.

    LOL :p
     
  3. ozzy214

    ozzy214 Regular member

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    Yes. Ya know what the bible says. A womens snatch is the the open mouth of a serpernt with stairs leading to hell. I believe this is in acts, but dont quote me. Im going by memory and it has been years since I read it.:>

    There is one way to fix it. Cross dress and go up with one of ya buddies. Tell yeah gay and you have been seeing him behined her back. She should run screaming out the door unless she likes kinky shit!:>

    LMAO!
     
  4. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Excellent advice, Ozzie! That should really do the trick!

    I have a list of "The Bible's 130 Sexist Remarks" and they are indeed sexist (but hyterically funny...though if I were a woman, I'm sure I'd feel otherwise!). Perhaps I should start a thread and we can all discuss the wisdom of the bible quote by quote!

    If a mod is reading this, kindly tell me, can I get banned for quoting scripture! LOL!
     
  5. ozzy214

    ozzy214 Regular member

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    Lol! Yes lets hope dr the owner aint a atheist.LMAO! Yes the cross dressing parts works. I had a girl pretty much stalking me. So I dressed up a cross dressor and pick up a bud I paid fifty to accompany. She wasnt one happy, but she told me she could deal with it. So I ran up gave my bud a big bear hug and kissed him on the cheek. After that she ran screaming out the door ya gay bastard. And then I had to puke cause that was disgusting, but it still worked.!
     
  6. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Bahh...what's a kiss on the cheek? But then again, I'm a french boy so we do that instead of shaking hands ... hell, those hands could have been in some seriously nasty places (but so could someone's face I suppose but it would be unseemly to entertain that possibility in a public forum LOL!)
     
  7. Logik666

    Logik666 Regular member

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    @droogie01

    You could have a friend kick you in the ba**s just befor you break up with her, that way you wont be as tempted by the "evil vag*na with fangs".
     
  8. LOCOENG

    LOCOENG Moderator Staff Member

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    That would really be taking one for the team....ouch

    Hurts just thinking about it.
     
  9. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Too painful. There are some pills you can take where you couldn't stand at attention if you wanted to!
     
  10. Logik666

    Logik666 Regular member

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    OK, two questions. There are pills out there where the main purpose is to prevent erections?

    Second question, how do you know about this Gerry?

    LOL ;)
     
  11. ozzy214

    ozzy214 Regular member

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    Yes gerry is there something ya not telling us?
     
  12. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Errr....Ahhh.....Hmmmm...I think I put my foot in my mouth! LOL! Now Logik, did I say the "main purpose" of these pills would be to prevent erections?? Nay, but there are medications designed for other things which will have that side effect where poor ol' Willie just won't do what he's told! There are others that will even make Willie shrink so bad that breaking up will be easy...she'll laugh and throw you out! A good dose of Percodan/Pecocet, Oxycontin or Demerol and Willie will just sleep regardless of any method of stimualtion (Ever see Andy Warhol's movie "Trash" ...an entire movie about a womans frustration with Joe Dalesandro's "inability" because of certain drugs ... a really bad movie, I might ad). There are also certain stimulants which, because they act as a vaso-dilator, will not only make poor Willie maintain a recumband posture, but he will literally shrink until the effects have worn off.

    Now that's how I know ... am I telling the real story or is there something I'm not saying?? I'm not saying!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2006
  13. droogie01

    droogie01 Member

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    rotflmfao
    wow guys uve been such a great help
    i think ill jsut go get castrated and have a labotomy instead


    ps...u guys are f*cked up lol jk
     
  14. dysart147

    dysart147 Member

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    I think you should leave another girls bra on your bed and invite her over. That will seal the deal. It worked for me when I was in you're same position. There is no turning back from that.
     
  15. droogie01

    droogie01 Member

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    the only other girl in this stupid town of mine is like...my mom and theres no way im touching that bra lmao

    but a good suggestion i f i lived in a city
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2006
  16. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Droogie...castration and a lobotomy is somewhat excessive; settle for one or the other, they'll both do the trick. With the former, you won't care about sex and with the latter, you won't care about anything!
     
  17. Logik666

    Logik666 Regular member

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    @Gerry, yea i just thought "main purpose" would be funnyer.
     
  18. skk0208

    skk0208 Member

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    cheat on her and make sure she reads the msgs in your phone. She'd then feel obliged to dump you.
     
  19. MaxBurn

    MaxBurn Regular member

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    Tell her you have aids, the clap, herpies, crabs, and something else even the doctors haven't seen, but it's def. sexually transmitted..
     
  20. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Ah, we're such a helpful bunch. If Droggie dumps his girlfriend, he'll have no choice but to date his mother. Maybe we should take up a collection and get this poor soul one of those iflatable dolls; we'll even get the delux special model with the battery operated important parts.
     

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