Don't Think I'm Weird For This...

I have a friend here on After Dawn. He is rather shy about asking this question. I'm sure some of you have read his post's. Anyway, he is 18 years old... and a virgin. He is wondering what he can do himself (without a partner) to make it feel like he is really having sex. I know it's weird, but he think's this will ruin his name on here. I on the other hand aren't shy because I'm not asking for me, and I have posted many thing's on here, dealing with nothing like this at all, so I am confident that you all will know this is not me wanting to know about this. Thank you, and try to help my friend (I don't blame you if you don't.)

 

Do you realise that there are some kids who come here? Somehow I dont really think that this is what you should be posting on a technical help form ... Reported!

Jin666

 

this is a site and forum about music, movies, computers, and games. this isn't a sex site with guides on how to wack off!

 

For f*cks sake.....

 

this is one thread that and must be put in a wheelbarrow and wheeled out to the crapper,

 

well said...I love this new temporary suspension plan

 

haha wow...that was one question I never expected to see here. I mean, I've seen a lot of out there stuff but asking for help boppin the bishop is just plain weird!

 

@RoNin....LMAO..."boppin the bishop" is one I've never heard before!

 

ya boppin the bishop came right to mind...theres one that has something to do with the bishop but I couldn't remember it...boppin just sounded right

 

youngjawz

Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?

I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?

You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified.

You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse!

Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?

Take a vacation; go to Club Dead.

Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.

You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.

You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.

You grow on people -- like a wart!

 

haha...I love that movie

 

Haha he's gone for a while. Thanks guys!

Jin666

 

SYNONYMS FOR MASTURBATION



Having a session with the wise master

Hand start the one eyed yogurt thrower

Memory Bank Spank

Getting jiggy with it

Cleaning the snorkel

Mugging the Kojak Doll

Giving flipper a backrub

Making pudding'

Shaking hands with Mr. Happy

Making sewer babies

Dating the palm sisters

Cocking the Gun

Filling up the belly button well

Conditioning the leather

Rubbing one off

Satisfying King Solomon

Inflating the Zeppelin

Massaging the Marrionette, no strings attached

Extracting a core sample

Enforcing the "No Fly Zone"

Digital Manipulation of the Coital Apparatus

Testing out the magic love wand

The Rise and Fall of Peter the Great

Firing the Surgeon General

Squeaky the squirrel

Taking Herman to the circus

Freeing the soldiers of love

Boobytrapping a toilet seat

Galloping the lizard

Five finger boogie on the blue vein

Tickling little Tommy behind the ear

Walking the one eyed dog

Making gravy

Humping the old hand

Greasing The Baseball Bat

One man tug of War

Hang The Hamster

5 Digit Disco

Rocking the lil' man in the boat

The disappearing cigar trick

Male polishing the stinger

Checking the tweeters

Shaking hands with the wife's wedding present

Launching the heat seeking moisture missile

Filleting the trouser trout

Jerking my johnson

Lathering the Latin love lance

Bending to the will of the one eyed purple warrior

Spew from the column of delight

Honking bobo

Riding the one eyed wonder horse

Saying hello to my little friend

Prostate Maintenance

Honking the burrito

Pickle dancing

Skipping rocks off the lake of love

Shaving the cucumber

Faxing a hard copy to the Castro

Walking the dog

Using the Force

Flogging the dolphin

Whipping up some baby batter

Feeding your trouser-mouse

Jolting the bean

Cock the cannon

Supply and Demand

Putting mayo on the knuckle sandwich

Doing the hand-jive

Firing the photon torpedoes

Shooting putty at the moon

The sperm manicure

Putting the dog's eye out

Rubbing the nub

Saying hi to big Jim and the twins

Verifying your manhood

Worshiping the fist prince

Yanking the penal cord

Flushing babies

The two fisted monkey slap

The blob blaster

Spewing crude

Wank your crank

Skanking the pickle

Smacking the pudge

Unrolling the turtle neck

Unsheathing the shlong

Shining the helmet

Dressing up like the mail man

Spit shining the trophy

Making love with miss Right

Spin the humming top

Letting off a few wrist rockets

Freeing the Willies

Petting the Parrot

Punching the Munchkin

Spanking the Monkey

Slapping the Salami

Choking the Chicken

Caressing the Cucumber

Doing the Mighty Wang Chung

Shining the Shaft

Tweaking the Totem Pole

Lubricating the Piston

Beating the Meat

Arming the Torpedo

Playing One Arm Bandit

Playing One Eyed Bandit

Playing the Skin Flute

Fondling the Fountain

Churning Butter

It's the Middle School Rodeo

Knuckle Shuffle on the Piss Pump

Gushing the Geyser

Milking the Heifer

Squeezing the Squirrel

Jerking Off

Pulling the Pud

Pulling a Pee-Wee

Going Blind

Growing Hair on the Palms

Waxing the Dolphin

Beating the Bishop

Jerking the Gherkin

Whacking Off

Pounding the Pepperoni

Cleaning the Canoli

Special Saucing the Big Mac

Fondling the Fahita

Banging the Burrito

Heisting the Jewels

Hustling the Hog

Waxing the T-Bird

Polishing the Rocket

Getting Your Pole Varnished

Chaffing the chimp

Making the Meat-Whistle

Torching the Taliwacker

Giving it a Tug

Shaking Hands with the Unemployed

Beating the boner

Handling the hard on

Yanking your chain

Sanding the woody

Lubricating the love stick

Sharpening the pencil

Tickling old one-eye

Making the Cyclops fight the five headed monster until he cries

Grabbing the grouse

Spackling the ceiling

Bopping the baloney

Pumping the gas

Draining the main vein

Worshiping the finger prince

Pumping the revolver

Shooting the 6 shooter

Polishing the family jewels

Waxing your Rocket

Spilling milk

Working the glue stick

Pleasing the turtle

Playing "hookey"

Walking the bearded one-eyed love dog

Beating the piss outta my best friend

Making a knuckle hot dog

Cuffing the carrot

Chugging the choo-choo

Making "Love" in the hand

Squeezing the cream out of the flesh Twinkie(tm)

Making Johnny Walker red

Playing Rumple Foreskin

Wrestling the Bald Headed Champ

Punching the Clown

Plucking the duck

Choking the snake

Tugging the Tapioca Tube

Getting to be better friends with Willy

Stretching before strenuous exercise

Taming Goliath

Corralling the Tadpoles

Jacking my Mule

Flogging yer dummy

Roughing up the suspect ('Cause you know he's guilty)

Putting miles on your monkey

Getting a little off-hand

 

thats a big list man damn.. "Giving Flipper a Backrub" is my favorite.

 

nahh
not as good as Flogging the dolphin