how to update a memory card?

I got a memory card from a friend that has the memory card exploit on it and it works fine. i want to put the new patched version of hdloader on it but can not get my ps2 and pc to conect. i used flashxp and tried but it would not connect. the card has execftps.elf and says it is connected on port 21, but i can not get to two to conect so i can send files back and forword. any help i can get would be great. i dont have the orinial hd loader disk. the card works fine i just want to get the new pacthed version on.