You know the story, you wish you'd never been born, then you see the world without you and you relies that you want to live. Well every time I see the world without me its a better place. I'm not suicidal but if I could flip the switch and turn off my whole existence I would do it in a heart beat. Just wondering if the numbness I feel will ever end. Will I go crazy or do something bad. I wake up in a bad mood, not over anything but the fact that I woke up again. Been thinking that if I find some money that I could get some drugs, but then I think that you can't numb numb.
You are right you cant numb the numb but you can fell better. Google NLP and learn how easy it is to change bad feeling into more positive emotions, don't think that I am trying to patronise you or anything but been there done that. If NLP isnt for you, google yourself a hypnotic relaxation session there are many good ones out there to use for free, I wont send you any of my own work as they are specifically for me, I see that in your area of the US there are many fellow NLP Practitioners, call one of them and ask for a free introductory session and I can guarantee that even after that session you will fell more positive. Take care of yourself, Dave.
No, but only a few drugs numb...exctasy WILL make you feel better (any much, much worse later). Weed will at least make you care less about the bleakness, with minimal negative effects (other than the legal ones). However, the best solution is to find something worth living for. It is true that we live in a terrible world, and there is nothing you can do about it. Despite this, many people find happiness without brain damage or chemicals. It is different for everyone...some love sex, others love food, art, cars, bike racing, marathons, and everything else. Find something you would wake up early to do, this will make it easier to get out of bed in the morning.
Obviously you have depression. As do I off and on. For me I tend not to mind when I go on a low for a couple weeks, but if the emptiness gets to be too much than as much as you probably don't want to, go to the Dr and get some happy pills. What you're feeling (or not feeling) has to do with your chemicals, they're off balance and meds can help. If you don't like them you can stop taking them if you want, they wont force you to stay on them. Look into it and see your Dr.
Yeah...just get some happy pills from a doctor...then you will have iritability, stool leakage, hair loss, and...well...problems "down there". On top of everything else, the sucess rates are very low, and they increase desire for suicide. Before long you will kill yourself, then you will not feel depressed anymore. ...Or, you can look at why you are depressed and do something about it...the choice is yours. Very, very few people have physical depression (small seratonin glands, etc)...most cronic and manic depressives are simply stuck in a cycle of being depressed about things, feeling too depressed to fix things, and then feeling more depressed that things are getting worse.