In an attempt to raise the continuing lamentable lack of uplifting inspirational messages on the forum, I offer the following anonymous uptakes on our wacky, modern age. A habit both vile and unsavoury Kept the Bishop of Oxford in slavery. With bestial howls He would bugger young owls Which he kept in an underground aviary. From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles Came a scream that resounded for miles. Said the vicar "Good Gracious! Has Brother Ignatius Forgotten the Bishop has piles?" An old archeologist, Throstle, Discovered a marvelous fossil He knew from its bend And the knob on the end 'Twas the peter of Paul the Apostle.