New RIAA Actions!

This is a joke....for now
I just got this in an email and I thought y'all would like to read this. It's funny...for now, until they actually start doing crap like this

http://www.newstarget.com/022437.html

RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright
Infringement (satire)

Monday, December 31, 2007 by: Mike Adams

(NewsTarget Satire) On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to
criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they've purchased to
their computers (or iPods), the association has now gone one step
further and declared that "remembering songs" using your brain is
criminal copyright infringement. "The brain is a recording device,"
explained RIAA president Cary Sherman. "The act of listening is an
unauthorized act of copying music to that recording device, and the
act of recalling or remembering a song is unauthorized playback."

The RIAA also said it would begin sending letters to tens of millions
of consumers thought to be illegally remembering songs, threatening
them with lawsuits if they don't settle with the RIAA by paying
monetary damages. "We will aggressively pursue all copyright
infringement in order to protect our industry," said Sherman.

In order to avoid engaging in unauthorized copyright infringement,
consumers will now be required to immediately forget everything
they've just heard -- a skill already mastered by U.S. President
George Bush. To aid in these memory wiping efforts, the RIAA is
teaming up with Big Pharma to include free psychotropic prescription
drugs with the purchase of new music albums. Consumers are advised to
swallow the pills before listening to the music. The pills -- similar
to the amphetamines now prescribed for ADHD -- block normal cognitive
function, allowing consumers to enjoy the music in a more detached
state without the risk of accidentally remembering any songs (and
thereby violating copyright law).

Consumers caught humming their favorite songs will be charged with a
more serious crime: The public performance of a copyrighted song, for
which the fines can reach over $250,000 per incident. "Humming,
singing and whistling songs will not be tolerated," said Sherman.
"Only listening and forgetting songs is allowed."

Consumers attempting to circumvent the RIAA's new memory-wiping
technology by actually remembering songs will be charged with felony
crimes under provisions of the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright
Act). The Act, passed in 1998, makes it a felony crime to circumvent
copyright protection technologies. The RIAA's position is that
consumers who actually use their brains while listening to music are
violating the DMCA. "We would prefer that consumers stop using their
brains altogether," said Sherman.

With this decision, the RIAA now considers approximately 72% of the
adult U.S. population to be criminals. Putting them all in prison for
copyright infringement would cost U.S. taxpayers an estimated $683
billion per year -- an amount that would have to be shouldered by the
remaining 28% who are not imprisoned. The RIAA believes it could
cover the $683 billion tab through royalties on music sales. The
problem with that? The 28% remaining adults not in prison don't buy
music albums. That means album sales would plummet to nearly zero,
and the U.S. government (which is already deep in debt) would have to
borrow money to pay for all the prisons. And where would the borrowed
money come from? China, of course: The country where music albums are
openly pirated and sold for monetary gain.

When asked whether he really wants 72% of the U.S. population to be
imprisoned for ripping music CDs to their own brains, RIAA president
Sherman shot back, "You don't support criminal behavior do you? Every
person who illegally remembers a song is a criminal. We can't have
criminal running free on the streets of America. It's an issue of
national security."

NOTE: This is a satire report on the RIAA. That means it's written as
fictional humor. It does not yet represent the actual position of the
RIAA, although from the way things are going, the association may
soon adopt it. Permission is granted to make copies of this story,
redistribute it, post it and e-mail it (please provide proper credit
and URL) as long as you do not actually remember it because copying
to your brain is now strictly prohibited. Any attempts to circumvent
the memory-based copyright restrictions on this article will result
in your brain imploding, causing such an extreme loss of cognitive
function that your only hope for any future career will be running
for public office.

Dave