hmm i would just download flash FXP, thats what all the tut's use, what i could help you with, and its a free program.
i know i downloaded it and it wouldnt connect probably because my smart ftp is already connected to my xbox.
have you set up a network with your computer? are you running windows xp? and you'r definatly using a "crossover" cable right?
definetely use flashfxp you can get it here http://www.se7ensins.com/forums/programs/4914-big-list-apps.html?highlight=flashfxp