Triplets A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was taking pee and this bullet came out." replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out." Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog."
The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men ARE not mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh
A blonde went into a casino and went to a soda machine. She put in a dollar and got a coke and 30 change. She thought this was fantastic, so she went to the service desk and got fifty $1 bills for a $50 bill. Then she went back to the soda machine and kept putting in her $1 bills until she had sodas all over the floor and a pocket full of change. Soon the manager came over and asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing, miss?" "Winning," the blonde replied. A drunk staggered out of a bar and began wandering around the parking lot, bumping into every car and rubbing the roof of each one. The manager came out of the bar and stopped the drunk. "What the heck are you doing?" the manager asked. "I'm looking for my car and I can't find it!" the drunk complained. "So, how does feeling the roof of the car help?" "My car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!"
hers my last joke guys, i have resigned from AD as of now. so heres my last joke anybody guess who this is imagine a
LOL LastMastr.i love Chuck Norris jokes.heres some more Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse...Horses are hung like Chuck Norris Why does Chuck Norris sleep with the lights on.... Not because he is afraid of the dark... the dark is afraid of him. What does the boogey man do before he goes to bed.... Checks his closet for Chuck Norris When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad One the first day God Created Mania On the second day he created Chuck Norris On the Third day, Chuck Norris Mania ran wild on God If u spell "Chuck Norris" in Scrabble you will win...forever Chuck Norris CAN touch McHammer Jesus walks over water, Chuck Norris walks over Jesus Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground. It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door When Chuck Norris fires a gun, he doesn't pull the trigger, he tells the bullet to beat it Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.too bad he never cries wow.lots more.
@ andmerr thanks. at last I get congratulated. tiz a mystery what will then happen as for the who... two guys celebrating victory, obviously. ...then what happened?
regor It was either a joke or he resigned a couple of days ago. Since it doesn't read inactive under his name, it doesn't look as though the resignation took effect.
well for what it's worth... andmerr is one of my favs. I hope it was jest, that he resigned, but if he did I hope the reason was unmistakably and undeniably the best action and that all those party to the decision are in full agreement. if ad politics were involved, tis a shame. my .02
Well instead of his account reading inactive as it would if the staff had acted on his leaving, it still reads Addict. Which means his acct is still active. It's his decision to post or not to. He's no farther away than his keyboard and he's still receiving the posts from AD unless he unsubscribed from the threads. I'm sure he appreciates the kind thoughts and your saying what a swell guy he is. As for political games on the forums, we should all take a lesson and not get involved, it usually leads to trouble. Dela recently made a post to address just that issue. http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/332571 It's a sticky here in the Safety Valve section.
Since this is the funnies link, here's something I got in the email: [bold]Cool person test[/bold]; click on the link. http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm
