Merry Christmas to all

thats a good one...................hahaha

 

A REPOST,FROM B-4

My Computer Crashed And Died Today,No AFTERDAWN

My computer crashed and died today
And I thought, "oh well what the hey"
Now I'd have time to clean my house
And see if I still had a spouse

It started out with weird frustrations
Combined with mild heart palpitations
And then my ankles began to swell
Withdrawal symptoms from no AFTERDAWN

Chills ran up and down my spine
Oh, God I had to get on-line
To greet my buds and check my mail
I began to feel helpless and frail

Then I remembered the Good Guy's Store
And all those computers by the door
I'd go there and when alone
With no one looking I'd sign-on to AFTERDAWN

I stepped up to a computer, clicked on AFTERDAWN
The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell
I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem sound
I was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to pound

Then I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye"
And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try.
This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks
If only they had known how bad I need my AFTERDAWN fix

I ...slowly... typed... my... password... then...I... stood....and...waited
The darned thing said , "Goodbye" again and I got real frustrated
That's when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen
And the last thing I remember is my loud shrieking scream

When I woke I was handcuffed being booked
I think I asked the data entry cop, if he'd get me a drink
Now I'm sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well
If I can just use his computer to sign on to AFTERDAWN.

 

LOL. I could see it happen tho...

 

thanks andmerr...

PS: no hard feelings alkohol :<)

 

And a Merry, Merry Christmas to all the good people here at
AfterDawn!!!

Have a good one and enjoy!!!

Weycraze

 

Christmas in West Virginia

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack
Not a creature was stirrin', cept the lice on muh back.
The Skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care,
With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were sleepin', all snug in their beds,
While visions of tractor pulls danced in their heads.
And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake.
Had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake.
When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard,
I opened the winder to check muh T-bird.
I ran to the door, like I's on a mission,
But I tripped on some parts from muh granny's transmission.
The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin'.
Muh daughter weren't home yet, she wuz still out parkin'.
When what to muh whiskey blind eyes should I see
But a Chevy S-10, pulled by eight flyin' sheep.
With a fat nasty driver, so disgustin' and sick
I said, "Shoot Fire! That must be St. Nick!
More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came
And he belched and he hollered, and he called 'em by name.
Now CLIFFORD! Now VERNON! Now LESTER and ENUS!
On FESTUS! On ELMER! On ROSCOE and CLETUS!
From the top of the shack to them there garbage bins
Now Dash Away! Dash Away! Dash Away youins!
I heard a loud sound on the roof of muh shack.
Pud down muh beer and went fer muh gun rack.
He fell through the roof, plum killed my dog,
I swear that ole' Santa looked just like Boss Hog.
He wore a T-shirt, rebel flag on the front,
And his jeans were all bloody from that morning's hunt.
A big nekkid lady tattooed on his arm,
And he wore black boots that he'd picked up in 'Nam.
His eyes, how they glazed from too much Wild Turkey.
From the side of his mouth hung a stick of beef jerky.
A scar on his cheek from a fight with the cops.
The veins on his face looked ready to pop.
The butt of a Marlboro clung to his lip
He wore a hip pack full of B-B-Q chips.
He had a fat face and a hairy beer belly.
I ain't seen one that big since muh ex-wife Shelly.
He was gap-toothed and dumb with an I.Q. of three
And I laughed cause that redneck was smarter than me.
A wink of his eye, a fierce shake of his head,
From his hair came a rat that ran under the bed.
He reached in his sack, sipped his gin and tonic,
Then filled the kid's stockings with Hooked on Phonics.
His toys came from Big Lots and they weren't very nice
But he had lots of them and yuh can't beat the price.
He gave us a tape of them hound dogs that sing Jingle Bells.
Some Crisco, some Spam, some Oatmeal Cream pies,
And a Nascar T-shirt in Double X size.
When the presents were gone and he had no more,
He staggered and stumbled right through muh screen door.
He hopped in his truck, to his sheep gave an order
"Hurry up youins! To the Tennessee border!"
And I heard him cry out, with a strong southern drawl,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU REDNECKS! MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL... YEE HAWWWW!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS..FROM ME IRELAND TO ALL

 

Merry Xmas to everyone. You have all made my experience a worthwhile, enjoyable and meaningful one. This is truly a great community and I hope that we'll all continue to ensure that it grows from strength to strength. Again a wish you all the very best for this festive season and the new year that lies ahead.

 

this indeed was a wonderful christmas,it feel's like i ate 500 lbs of christmas ham,baked chicken,potato salad mashed potatoes with cheese home made potato soup,irish rolls,irish bread light and dark...a salad with irish cheese tomato lettice and irish dressing..smoked fish.....and irish coffee,with a wee touch of irish whiskey..
and tons of home made irish cakes..
and now a cigar with a wee more irish whiskey,over ice.


WHAT DID YE HAVE TO EAT FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

 

Merry Christmas ireland........and to all...

i ate turkey, all the fixins, with a touch of korean in there (my wife is half korean, so they always do their thing).. korean rice, rolls, some things i cannot even pronounce much less spell, stuffing, cran berry stuff.... duck, goose, cake, pie, wine, dunno what kind, but it was dry, drank a pepsi instead.. oh, we also ate cheese cake surprise... custom made, very good.
save me some of that smoked fish ireland, i'll be over in a few.

 

Ham mashed potatos, sweet potato, green beans, some kind of corn casarole, various other things. This was a pretty good Christmas. The wife and I went kind of light this year. We close on our new house on the 30th. Its a 4 bed, 4 bath monster. We cant wait to move into that and out of the 'wonderful' apartment.

Happy New Year All!

 

congrats on the close........ it's lots of paperwork and things you gotta do....... been there done that.

 

Thanks gear79. This is the 3rd and last move for us. We approached Christmas with this mind set. Thats 'more crap to pack'. So Christmas was pretty lite. The wife hates this apartment. So do I for that matter. When you have been home owners for 10 years, apartment life sucks!!!! The daughter thinks its pretty cool. The lady above us is pretty 'vocal', if you get my meaning.

 

she's just setting the mood... lol

some of them neighbors are interesting. i remember thos days of apartment life, glad its over for me now.

 

I was born in a stable raised in a barn,now live in a car,gear79,whats a apartment?

 

a condo with a view ireland.......... of the pool side !!! woooohoooo
the things i saw while living in an apartment before i got my house...

night time skinny dipping and such.... what a sight.

 

hi

Christmas <---- done that bit ...

Happy New Year all

YAY !!!

;-])

 

gear,

Some of the people that live in this complex do NOT need to be seen skinny dipping!!!!!!!!! Makes me shudder to think about it.

 

i know, but on the flip side, more need to hop in the pool...

 

There arent that many like that that live here.